Should I stay or should I go?*

Alenka Lena Klopčič

“But, you will never graduate,” said the class teacher I'll call Ms. Robinson in my final year of school when I asked her to change some of my classes that I wanted to attend but couldn’t because I had to work. Ms. Robinson’s words echo in my mind 23 years later, driving me to pursue my passions and to prove wrong to those people like her who didn't believe.

These words coming from Ms. Robinson, and many more over the years, have joined the “low self-esteem word-club.” They made me shout – in my head – “should I stay or should I go?”

A tinny but annoying little voice responded, “Yes, you should definitely go. Why are you even raising this question? Just go. Leave. Don’t oppose the external powers. Definitely don’t fight them!”

Such conversations inside my head were quite regular and they appeared always (indeed, always!) when different versions of Ms. Robinson addressed me as I was working to dig myself out of the socially weak environment that I was in.

Then counter psychology kicked in, and my internal reactions and external actions were doing everything but listening to that low self-esteem voice, which just wanted to protect me. Those thoughts wanted to protect me as I went somewhere I was not supposed to go, somewhere I don’t know how to be: me.

Listen to your heart**
It’s no mystery that the roots of our low self-esteem derive from our worlds and the people in them. These may include teachers (leave aside the fact that this is a big paradox), parents (when we are younger and older), spouses, and even friends who could be just so-called friends or genuinely worried friends who care for us but just don’t understand us or our passion, or have fears of their own. It could even be the world news being thrown at us daily or individual catastrophes which we have only limited or no control of.

The first step toward building confidence would be to limit the factors causing us bad feelings about ourselves as well the worry about not being able to do more or to strive for more. This is easier to say (or write) than it is to do, but it’s necessary if we have want to experience growth we must concentrate on ourselves in this time and place.

The second is to write down a question, such as ‘What is my passion?' and answer it. Think about what you loved to do when you were younger, who and on what occasion maybe told you that you did something good, and when did you really feel good about yourself. What was happening at that time to make you feel that way?

Also, it’s no mystery that when asked about what they would love to do in or with their lives, people tend to start talking about what they don’t love about it. Well, that could become one of the roots of low self-confidence that was mentioned earlier, but it could also be a starting point to nourish our will to change something about our life and ourselves.

Transformation, even if we are prone to oppose the changes leading us out of our comfort zone, is a form of growth. A form of personal development. An internal evolution. It can even be our lighthouse showing us the way back to our heart.

Because the answer to the passion question lies directly there - in our heart.

The art of your own creation
Once you've reached your goal on this path (which is just one small part of the whole lifelong journey), and made it part of your heart, life will reveal its magnificence, and it will just grow and grow with its unlimited potential. When you trust in this process, it will help you trust in yourself.

When this happens, achievements such as business success, earning enough for a cosier home, or setting a price for a new service or product (and not only setting but doing the sales on it!), or even getting a high school diploma like I did 23 years ago, would be just the normal consequences of the new you.

Only then we will realize and finally deeply understand that we – each and every one of us – are unique individuals with lives as the art of our own creation.

So, what is your passion? What does your heart tell you? (If you need someone to help you light-up your internal lighthouse, I am here for you. ☺)

*The title of this blog was borrowed from the legendary The Clash (how appropriate name for this blog’s content, isn’t it? ☺), so let’s play some music: PLAY VIDEO
**The author has no clue why, but often when writing blogs for the personal transformation, she keeps hearing different voices in her head. Luckily, nowadays they are in a form of legendary songs, like this one: PLAT VIDEO. Enjoy! ☺